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Death to Myspace and Facebook

Posted by darren

Yesterday I dismantled my accounts with both Myspace and Facebook. I took down all personal information (excluding the links back to Imbalanced, of course), unjoined any groups for which I had membership, and even took down all my awesome YouTube links.

Don't feel bad for me, I know I don't!

Some of you may be worrying I have turned to the dark side, or worse yet turned "emo." At first I thought that as well, but then a realization set in that hadn't dawned on me for the past five years... Myspace and Facebook suck! *gasp*

Many of you, no, thousands of you out there on the Interwebs will no doubt disagree with me. That's fine. Hate mail is more fun than fan mail by far.

Three things come to mind as to why I will no longer subscribe to the social networking mantra, and I will share them with you today in hopes that you too can escape the websites currently enslaving you.

1) Who cares what you're doing right this very instant.

One of my friends blogs about everything that happens to him daily. If he farts and the wind blows back in his direction, you'll hear about it. While this may be "interesting" stuff on your personal Facebook page, the large majority don't give a shit about your personal struggle.

2) Your REAL friends already have your phone number and email address.

Right now I have 190 "friends" on Myspace. Guess how many I know or will meet sometime in the future? Close to maybe 15-20 people.

Out of those 15-20 people, how many do I want to actually talk to? I think that number is hovering around five.

3) This world provides too many cliques as it is.

Part of me understands this whole mantra of surrounding yourself with like-minded people, but the other three-fourths of me thinks all of you are being retarded.

Do we really want to reinvent high school on the web? Do we really need to know people in Brazil that probably only want to know you to traffic crack?

Yes we're all getting older. It's harder to meet people, I get you. I'm with it. But you can emulate all this social networking in REAL TIME by joining a group (try Meetup.com if you don't have a clue), working for a political campaign, exercising at the gym, going outside, frequenting church if that's your thing.

The personal relationships you create with real honest-to-God people will be far greater than the virtual ones on Myspace and Facebook, or even Xanga for all you emo kids that stumbled upon this website with your black magic and black lip balm.

I'm here to help. I'll even hold your hand if you're scared -- and hot.

Let it be known, I existed before social networking began, and I will exist even as social networking continues to grow. We all know people just use Myspace and Facebook as a free eHarmony anyway.

Trust me dude, she looks gorgeous as long as you don't scroll down.