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RAMEN! Day 2

Posted by darren

Welcome to the RAMEN. THE SAGA. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read about my first adventure in Ramenland here.

I've been sick for the past couple of days so many of my chores have been piling up, including cleaning the dishes. Lucky for me, included in my huge box of Ramen are a couple choices in their own paper cups.

My last entry was actually some pretty good, spicy ramen. But with highs must come lows, which means I immediately went for the cup I was most unsure: Paldo's Chlorella Cup noodle Soup.

*insert Dramatic Chipmunk music here*

Chlorella Cup Noodle Soup

Anytime I see something marked as "Savory Seafood Flavor," my inner child punches me in the kidney and I wake up in Tijuana two weeks later.

Unlike the last batch of ramen I made, don't microwave this cup. It will catch on fire. I don't know if the picture captures it, but the paper cup actually has a silvery sheen to it, probably to distract you from EVERYTHING ABOUT ITS CONTENTS.

I mean seriously, look at those noodles. Something is going terribly wrong.

Green noodles?!?

Heat up some water in a separate mug and then dump it in. You also need to add the provided "soup base" which smelled very much like dead fish. And feet. Once those two ingrediates start to mix, cover the lid and let sit for three minutes. Or more. Like indefinitely.

Use this time to clean up the spilled boiling water that is now all over your counter.

I decided to use chopsticks this time around to 1) make sure my eating utensils weren't destroyed by this green alien death soup, and 2) prove that I can use chopsticks -- I swear the picture below is not Photoshopped in any way. Ah-hem.

Chopsticks! OMG

I actually held the noodles there for a full minute before I finally decided to consume this monstrosity.

The verdict? Tastes like a cup of noodles with dried rotten shrimp thrown in it. And maybe seaweed.

Maybe that's what Paldo was going for. Also included in the flavor party is "cuttlefish flake" (whatever that is) and chlorella powder. Chlorella (for which this ramen gets its name) is of course a single-celled algae, from which some scientists believe may be one of the oldest living organisms on Earth.

If that doesn't get your taste buds going, I don't know what will.

Right below the ingredients, I found the normal Nutrition Information box one might expect on any number of bagged, boxed, or canned items.  Except the first item wasn't carbohydrates, nor was it sugar. No, it wasn't even saturated fats or sodium.

Taking the number one spot: Energy.

1,793kj (kilojoules) of energy, to be exact. I'm not sure how that translates in stairs to step or miles to run, but to beat out fat and sodium, it must be a lot.

Rating: 1 out of 5

Heat index: 0 out of 5

Packages I could consume before I died:  1 1/2 cup?


With another ramen consumed, there's still plenty more to go. Check back for another excited adventure in stomach failure!

Editorial note: I've been told that "energy" can be replaced with "calories" and mean the same thing. Enjoy the 1,793kj of calories, people!