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The Hotel Sheets

Posted by darren

So I bought new sheets for my bed the other day. Yeah, exciting stuff.

Anyway, I got these new high-class “hotel” sheets. Real nice. I get them home, put them on my bed, and they are the worst thing I’ve ever purchased. Then I started thinking to myself, “When have I ever slept well at a hotel?”

What would even motivate me to purchase “hotel” sheets? With those over-fluffy pillows, crick-in-your-back mattresses, and those crappy sheets that you just know the hotel has to burn after every use.

I think I was intoxicated by thread counts. Thread counts! I’m 29 years old and debating sheets because they’re under 300....

I should be comfortable sleeping on Doritos and pocket lint. That’s how I made it through undergrad. Oh futons, how I do not miss thee.